So I'm trying again!

      As this year is wrapping up, I feel disappointed, but I managed to lose some weight and managed to keep that off... but it's not a lot. What I've learned from this year is that I have the capabilities even with a job. For those who followed my blog, I was given some new responsibilities that have been challenging to my journey. I know people can lose weight with a job, but I work with my weakness! At this point in my life, I know I am at risk of doing irreversible damage to my body. I have a desire to eat better and I know that if I ate better, all of the hard work I put in would have better results. Do I still think I have it under control? Honestly speaking, I'm not sure, I'm coming up on a break so I'm going to try again.

      I'm trying again because a friend has hope for me. That means everything to me in all honesty. The truth is, this is MY journey and I will be alone. But what they did for me was affirm my committment to my own fight. It is a war, and I do need to realize that I made a little progress in conquering the war, but there is more to do.
  
        I starting a 3-month campaign with the theme of "Accountability". This will probably my most transparent challenge I will ever do. People will say that "why?" and I realize.. why not? I am a real person that happens to be overweight, and I am going to work my butt off and show people, that you can workout in spite of size. And in the end, I that's what hope to accomplish in this campaign.

Happy 600!!

Happy 600th view of my blog! It doesn't feel like much but that means that at least 100 people per month has seen my blog. That means that someone thought of my page enough to view it, even for a short time. I've planted a seed in someone to view the page and I'm glad it was viewed. I'll be taking a leave of absence of my blog in order to focus on my studies. In the meanwhile, I thanked those who read and I'll begin blogging again soon. Who knows? I'll probably have a lot more to say next time!

My new challenge series!

I got this idea from a blog that I thought that was cool! Sometimes it always nice to myself to do something different or just doing some right for more than a day. So my challenge to myself is to drink 4 more glasses of water than usual.

CHALLENGE: Drink 4  more glasses of water than usual for a week.

The reason for this is that I love sodas. I also like cold sweet drinks. Even if I just drink just a bottle of coke, that might be just be the only thing that I drink all day ( out of only laziness I can assure you). So I do drink water, but my own laziness can make me think about not drinking anything if it means that I have to get up out of my bed at anytime. Besides water is a very important tool in weight loss.
Studies and my own testimonial has shown that water is essential to the body. It allows you to flush out kidneys for better functioning in the body. Try it for a week, it won't kill you!

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Uh oh...back to business!

I got a call from my manager that they need me at work... To cook...

Don't get me wrong, I love cooking but... It's also my kryrtonite. This will be the real test of my will. This can only be endured by my faith in God. I know I tend to falter but I'm not going to let that happen! Not now! I may be into week 2, but I know I can't fail now. And if you pile on that I have a new set of classes and need to make time for the gym... And I have to make sure that I get cooking and cleaning done in my own home ( I'm not officially a wife, but I act like one).

I know that I am still young and I can probably take the tasks, it still won't be an easy task by any means. The one thing I've learned is not expect a hand out from anyone! I made a concious decision to pursue school. I also made a decision to lose weight and work a job that basically gives full time hours. I don't regret the decision because all of those are nevessary in order to live a healthy and wealthy life.

Success is not given, but earned. This pain that I might feel is necessary and temporary. I'll see this as growing pains. The one thing I said that I want to work on is consistency. I won't make that mistake of putting work before my health anymore. That is just a fact! Wish me luck and don't forget to subscribe!

What a day!!

You know, today was one of the most productive days of my journey. I went to attend a luncheon (that was an awesome meeting of encouraging woman!) that was at a buffett. I know what you might think, I am sabotaging myself right? On the contrare! I'll explain my eventful day.

I set my alarm to go to the gym around 8. Well, let's just say that it didn't happen. One person once told me, "you want to make God laugh? Plan!" By that statement alone is why I should have known. But anywho, I got up later than I should have. Now what reminded me about today was a text about the lunch and now I'm thinking, " how will I work out and come back in time to go the spot?" Well, I figured out the bus times realize that I had almost 2 hours to work out so that's what I did. I focused on cardio (as I posted in an earlier post) and boy did I go for it!

I alternated between the elipitical and treadmill. The goal was to keep changing it up to allow my workout to be effective. Plus, I breathe differently on each one so that also challenges my breathing so I can strengthen my lungs as well. I sweated my butt off!! The problem was that by the time I got home, I had to get ready in less than 30 minutes... Not good...at all.

When I got back, I got myself together (no break at all) and left out the door forgetting a vital nurishment: water. So I get to the bus stop ( which that bus stop is quite a ways from where I stay at) and I start becoming a feast for bugs. A little while later, I get on the bus and start feeling the effects. It helped a little that I was on an air conditioned bus, but I soon realized that it was not by much. I get off the bus and... It was getting serious yall! By the time I got halfway there, I was about to vommit and I was getting dizzy. I've blacked out one time before so I remember the onset of it.  But I made it and I immediately drank the water and had to wait a minute before I got up. When I did get up, I got sushi ( my favorite!) their lightly sauteed green beans, wonton soup (favorite soup from there), and a variety of fruit.

I ate it (slowly bacause I still felt quizzy) and from that point on, I only got really small plates from the time on. Plus, I drank a LOT of water. It took me a bit but, I got through it. I wasn't full, but satisfied. I can't say I feel bad about anything I ate because it's things I like and in small portions! But after coming back from a great lunch ( great lessons to be learned from it), I came back and put on some looser clothes and went to walk off some of the food to kick start my caloric burning process. It was important that I do because I know I have a slow metabolism is, and I have to rev it to keep it from storing all of the fat.

Didn't I say eventful?

It's weigh-in time!!

I walk in the gym... A little nervous. I thought in the back of my head, "what did I eat wrong?" Anxiety kicks in and I'm feeling fat! You know that feeling, when you  feel like you feel swollen all of a sudden and you feel bigger than you are... It's a mental thing. Mentally, I felt like I did something wrong. It like a feeling of failure that I wish I can shake off. I have come to conclusion that I can think failure before I fail. Maybe it's just me but it's time to not doubt myself and move on already!
I have lost just 7 pounds. Wait a minute, let me rephrase that, I LOST 7 POUNDS!!! I need to put that in that wording because I can easily think that's its not a big number.

I know that the reason why I would think that it's not a big number because it isn't what the "biggest loser" consider a lot. I know that they spend 24/7 working out, and have the time to only focus on losing weight. I should think of this as a great start to a good milestone. It would be awesome that  could keep losing weight like that be things could most likely change. But since it has been going this well, I will weigh-in next Thursday and follow my progress.

(P.S. I did start on this post Thursday, but never got to finish the post... sucks huh?)

Voluptuous... I'll pass

I have seen things like big women embracing their "curves" and even those who want to get bigger just to get a bigger butt. It saddens me because, I think the reason they feel this way s because they have not found something that works for them. For a long time (and even now), I was not satisfied with myself at a bigger weight. Maybe these women can feel happy about their weight, but not me. As for the curves, they are still there even after weight loss. I know... it's a contradiction considering I put myself in that position in the first place. But I also know that food plays a big part in my lineage. If someone had a baby, birthday, funeral, new job, promotion, graduated, or even LOST WEIGHT, it was a eating party. Yes, an eating party! If the only game you play is cards, then eating, what else is there to do? This was the way I was brought up and looking back, that was a sick time.

But since I am an adult, I can change myself. It won't be easy but one day at a time, I'll make it! It's in the works. The seeds have been planted and now they are taking root. The numbers are important but not the main focus. I do have a lot to lose but I'm taking it one day at a time. As long as I know that I'm not going backwards, I'll be okay. But I do pray for those women because health problems arise from being bigger than they expected. I can't hate on them but I do wish them luck in their ventures. I got to do what I got to do for myself.